Had a CT scan & x-ray taken today for my 3rd follow-up since my gastrectomy & lymph node operation. I see my oncologist next week for the results, which I’m sure will be fine… #FeelingGood
…They say, “timing is everything” and “when it rains it pours”, two sayings that pretty much defined this period in my life and unfortunately in a negative way. A year hadn’t gone by since my relationship ended and even though I knew things wouldn’t have worked out, I had a hard time letting go…that was very hard on me. The unsuccessful business endeavor, continuous disappointment finding a full-time job or career, my knee injury and misdiagnosis, along with the testicular cancer, surgery, CDH1 mutation and the looming stomach surgery, were all made a little harder on me by not having the person I had beside me the four previous years. I had tried to move on a couple times, but when not much is going positively in ones life, it can be very hard to connect with someone. The last thing I wanted to do was sound like I was complaining and so socializing was sometimes very hard to do, which of course then multiplies the effect of feeling shitty. I forced myself out as often as I could, but not being able to be myself or participate in activities, the only times I really got out was to party. It helped me get through things a little, but the days after would almost be twice as bad…to use another saying, “it was like a double edged sword”.
I had had a part-time job for a couple months now that was helping, it was keeping me afloat plus it allowed me to put a stop to what was a growing financial problem. The job was an escape from all the shit that was happening as well. Finding a career now seemed kind of pointless, I knew with my stomach and knee surgeries that I would need some significant time to recover, not to mention I wasn’t sure what life was going to be like after the stomach surgery and if it would limit my employment options.
… When I returned home to Vancouver BC, I had also received another letter from the Social Services of Ontario with more detailed information about my biological family and the means to contact them. So I figured before I go and get tested, I had to get in contact with them…
Being adopted has never been something I really ever thought about. I was adopted at birth, so my parents are my parents; they were all I knew for 30+ years of my life. People would always ask if I ever wanted to meet my biological family and I’d answer with the usual, “only if they contact me first”. My reasoning behind that was that I did not want to complicate anyone’s life, I mean they put me up for adoption for a reason. I was always told it was because my biological mother already had two children whose father had passed and would find it too challenging to raise a third without a companion for financial and emotional support. I wasn’t totally sure if that was the feel good story or the truth, but it made sense. The last thing I wanted to do though was contact my biological family only to learn that there was some mischievous behavior that led to my conception and then bringing it to light causing my biological family some turmoil. As it turned out, it was the truth…