Memoir of a Hollow Man

I had started this posting about two weeks ago, but couldn’t find enough time to sit down and get it done, so I’m attempting it once again. Difference is, I finally have a couple days in a row with nothing planned except a couple appointments, but then I’m off again. It seems since my last posting I have been on the go non-stop, something I feared I’d never be able to maintain for such a prolonged period of time.

In my last posting I was only six weeks into my ACL reconstruction recovery and mostly trapped on the couch once again while I let the new tendon mend. I had begun physiotherapy, which at the time was really my only escape from my apartment, which in some way had become a prison over the past year and a bit. Of course I got out when I could, but I was never really comfortable and definitely didn’t feel like myself most of the time, if ever.

Read more

If you are still following my journey you would have noticed my written posts have definitely become a lot more sporadic, but that’s not because I’ve given up, it’s just because it’s a lot harder to write about the present than it is the past, especially since not much happens in a typical day for me at the moment. I have been pretty much locked-down at home once again due to my recent ACL reconstruction that took place six weeks ago. Of course I try to get out a couple times a week so I don’t go completely insane, but my outings aren’t too exciting or anything to really write about. It’s usually the same old; grab a bite or a beer, maybe a movie or run an errand. Other than that, I’m basically at home watching ridiculously mind-numbing TV shows, playing video games or on my computer writing or surfing the information super highway. Although, with the unfortunate decline in my libido from what it once was (I do certainly hope this is very much temporary), which some may say was a little uncontrollable, I don’t find the internet as useful as I once did. The weather here in Vancouver isn’t really motivating me to get outside either, as it’s still unbelievably terrible for this time of year, it’s been unusually wet and cold. This makes sitting at home a little more bearable in the sense that I know I’m not missing anything, but it still sucks being trapped in a dark drab apartment alone most days.

Read more

Look what arrived in the mail today, a brand new skate deck…entered a FB contest & won! As my knee heals I plan to gather the rest of the parts I need to complete my set-up so I can once again roll through the streets, just like I did 27 years ago.

I still don’t cook nearly as often as I used to, but I do a couple times a week…some of my faves I still enjoy; green curry prawns & scallops with coconut milk (on left), and jerk chicken roti (on right). Homemade food I tend to have better luck with, but I still get the “dumping syndrome” affects at times… no where near as often as I used to. #FeelingGood

Had a CT scan & x-ray taken today for my 3rd follow-up since my gastrectomy & lymph node operation. I see my oncologist next week for the results, which I’m sure will be fine… #FeelingGood

First day at physio…great session, was there for 3 hours.

Four full weeks of taking it easy on my knee…today was the first day on the stationary bike and felt relatively good. See physiotherapist next week…

Since my last post, which was pretty much two weeks after my third ACL reconstruction, I stated my main issue was lack of sleep, which it was. Soon after those first two weeks cabin fever once again started to set in. One can only spend so much time locked up in their apartment watching movies and playing video games before they go stir crazy…and for me, I crossed that line a long time ago. So combining my lack of sleep with the cabin fever and you have a person on the verge of a breakdown.

Read more

I thought this day would be filled with more excitement and celebration, after all its May 30, 2012, the one-year anniversary of the day that changed my life forever. However, due to my recent ACL reconstruction I’m sitting on my all to familiar couch celebrating life alone, my first birthday of sorts, well in the sense that I have learned and for the most adjusted to life without a stomach. Yep, it’s been one year ago that I went to sleep with what I was told at the time was a healthy stomach, only to awake with no stomach at all. Having to decide to go ahead with the operation on the premise that I possessed a gene mutation (CDH1) that could potentially cause stomach cancer was a lot harder of a decision than I originally thought. While also being diagnosed with stage-two testicular cancer, I had lymph nodes removed that same day, which seemed to be the more rational of the two and the optimal course of action with the type of tumor that had been discovered in my cancerous testicle that had been removed previously. Figuring they were cutting me open anyways, this was a good time to “kill two birds with one stone” as they say, making the decision a little easier to go sans stomach.

Read more