Memoir of a Hollow Man

I’ve really fell behind a little on my writing lately, but I suppose it’s due to my return to society and getting out more…both of which are a good reason I’d say. Most recently I took a trip to Ontario to participate in an experience I would recommend to any young adult cancer patient to attend if the opportunity arises. There is an organization called Young Adult Cancer Canada or YACC for short (http://youngadultcancer.ca/), and their mission is to build a community of young adults diagnosed with cancer that provides information, support, skills and opportunity. They are the leading organization when it comes to supporting cancer patients that fall within the young adult age range of 18-39 in Canada, and one of the key events they organize to help forge this community is an annual conference, called the “Survivor Conference”. This year it was in Toronto, Ontario at the Radisson Admiral Harbourfront Hotel from November 1-5, 2012.

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For the past few months now I have been mentioning the coming of a new chapter in my life, yet in my mind it’s been something I’ve been anticipating for much longer. If I haven’t said it already, this experience has definitely clarified what it is in life I feel to be important, and for me that’s living life to the fullest. After all, we only have one shot at this thing called life, so why not embrace it and enjoy it, and so this means surrounding myself with what makes me happy and doing the things I love. 

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I’m so fortunate to know the people I do and have the pleasure of calling them my friend’s, and as the classic song goes by the Beatles; “With A Little Help From My Friend’s“ I was able to throw a fundraiser last week to help me raise money to attend a Survivor Conference in Toronto held by Young Adult Cancer Canada (YACC), and to also help get me back on my feet as I try to get back to out into the real world.

The fundraiser was a lot of fun with so many great people showing up to show support. It was successful as well, and I’m looking forward to attending the Survivor Conference in Toronto at the beginning of November. So a big thanks to all my friend’s for your amazing support…family too of course, lots of Love.

Other than that, things have just continued along the path as they did over the summer, minus the traveling, but I’m getting out a lot more often and still looking for work so I can feel like a contributing piece of society once again. As I get things in order I’m sure I’ll only start to feel even better. Especially once I figure out my next big step…which I will have more to tell you about once it’s been made.

My weight, no matter what I try will exceed 130lbs, but I’m ok with that because my energy feels just fine and as my knee continues to get stronger I’m confident I will eventually start to gain weight as I return to my beloved activities. 

Life’s really starting to feel like living again…

Today I’m celebrating my 1^st birthday, as today marks the first full birth year since my new life began. In essence this day is very similar to my original 1^st birthday, in both circumstances I spent the first twelve months adjusting to life. Now that it’s behind me and I’m feeling comfortable, at least the majority of the time, and I’m ready to move forward and start living again.

It’s almost as if I have a fresh start, in some ways I do, but obviously with thirty plus previous years behind me a complete fresh start is impossible…not that I want one anyways. My life before all this began was one I’d live over a million times if I could, and I cherish those memories along with the people I met along the way.

It’s been one hell of a ride so far and I’m looking forward to the future, and what awaits me…love, adventure and good times. Life is what you make of it…so make the best of it, even when life sucks. 

It’s been six weeks since my last posting and like my last post; my life’s been on the go and it has continued to show me I’m ready to rumble…take on life and get back to living as if nothing has happened, but with a few minor differences of course.

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I had started this posting about two weeks ago, but couldn’t find enough time to sit down and get it done, so I’m attempting it once again. Difference is, I finally have a couple days in a row with nothing planned except a couple appointments, but then I’m off again. It seems since my last posting I have been on the go non-stop, something I feared I’d never be able to maintain for such a prolonged period of time.

In my last posting I was only six weeks into my ACL reconstruction recovery and mostly trapped on the couch once again while I let the new tendon mend. I had begun physiotherapy, which at the time was really my only escape from my apartment, which in some way had become a prison over the past year and a bit. Of course I got out when I could, but I was never really comfortable and definitely didn’t feel like myself most of the time, if ever.

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Some days I feel like challenging my new digestive system, so today I tried my luck with a KFC Wicked Stix Box Meal…only got the Wicked Stix and fries down in round one, but after sixty-minutes all that happened was a little fatigue and increased heart rate. Feeling fine again now, and although it was far from good for me I call that sucess due to the constant battle I have with gaining weight, so I have to try whatever I can.

If you are still following my journey you would have noticed my written posts have definitely become a lot more sporadic, but that’s not because I’ve given up, it’s just because it’s a lot harder to write about the present than it is the past, especially since not much happens in a typical day for me at the moment. I have been pretty much locked-down at home once again due to my recent ACL reconstruction that took place six weeks ago. Of course I try to get out a couple times a week so I don’t go completely insane, but my outings aren’t too exciting or anything to really write about. It’s usually the same old; grab a bite or a beer, maybe a movie or run an errand. Other than that, I’m basically at home watching ridiculously mind-numbing TV shows, playing video games or on my computer writing or surfing the information super highway. Although, with the unfortunate decline in my libido from what it once was (I do certainly hope this is very much temporary), which some may say was a little uncontrollable, I don’t find the internet as useful as I once did. The weather here in Vancouver isn’t really motivating me to get outside either, as it’s still unbelievably terrible for this time of year, it’s been unusually wet and cold. This makes sitting at home a little more bearable in the sense that I know I’m not missing anything, but it still sucks being trapped in a dark drab apartment alone most days.

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Look what arrived in the mail today, a brand new skate deck…entered a FB contest & won! As my knee heals I plan to gather the rest of the parts I need to complete my set-up so I can once again roll through the streets, just like I did 27 years ago.